This one's for you

This one's for you. Flowers, chocolates, or whatever for your anniversary. But what really matter is that you still have each other after all the flaws. Sometimes I feel like people are forgetting the meaning of love or what it really feels. Or people tend to just be contented with what their partners can give.

It sad that saying I love you is just like saying Hi or Hello now a days. Love is not just a word you say. If you say I love you, it means you mean it. If not, just don't bother please. Makes everything complicated. Or you don't really mean it then just let her have the freedom and let her find the true meaning of love.

This one's for you. Give her the love she deserves or give her the freedom to find the love she deserves. It is as easy as that. But if you do love her then show her how your love can make her breathless and contented.

It's an Invisible Wall

I've thought about something while listening to a song from Julia Fordham. It's an invisible wall, Julia said. Then I heard my own thoughts saying... People say that it's easy to fall in love. But why is it hard when you're already there? And why is it so impossible for two people in love to have a seamless relationship? So many questions running around my head right now. Still no answers but more questions are popping out endlessly.
Someone close to me said, " Don't be a good girl anymore, we're way passed that for years now". Thinking about it, I know she's right. Deep down I feel tired of being someone who is  just accepting and not asking for more. And I know I deserve more. This in return results to an invisible wall that's building between us. It's slowly tearing us apart.
Another thought... "What if I just simply walk away from you and never turn my back again? Be the bad girl and never explain why and just walk away. It's this invisible wall building up that's making me think this way. If only I could just scream at you and tell you that I want you, I want more of your time, your love, and everything more than you think I need. But can you understand me at all? 

My Day To Day

My day to day for the past three weeks is like finding myself all over again. My 1st day of training at work feels like going to 1st day of school. Half scared, half excited but still managed to finish everything with just one goal on my mind. I don't like grudges to dwell on my soul. But it helped me stand up and face alone my life with a little more confidence. I can't help wonder how people can judge me that easily when I have found out for myself that I am not that bad like someone think. Is it really about me being clingy to the people I love or is it their own insecurities that they're pointing my way? I may never know what or how they would react now. But honestly I don't care. I cry a lot, I admit. This is also my day to day now. But it doesn't mean I just make up all these things bothering me. I am just too comfortable with people I felt really cares for me. But now I can see. I am not blind anymore with their true colors. From now on I will love the people who are with me through my ups and downs. I will drop those people now in my life that made me feel like I am bad person. I will let them see my value in their lives but they will no longer be a part of my day to day.