Thursday, April 24, 2014

Thinking like a child


A friend told me last night that I am still acting and thinking like a child. That I should change because it's not good for me. This made me think the whole afternoon. Do I need to change? And if I do, will I be happy with the result? 
I told him that I was lucky growing up with people spoiling me by giving me my needs to feel contentment. And now I still get this from every person that I meet. I don't demand them to do it. But they do it anyway. So, is it my fault that I am being pampered this way? 
He promised me that he would be with me all the way. That I could spend my remaining days, months, years with him. Is it wrong that I believe him? And if I am really thinking like a child, will it affect my relationship with him? 
I don't really have the answers to my questions as of now. What i know now is I am happy that I feel this way with someone special. That because of this I am willing to let fate do the job. I do agree that I am still thinking like a child. I am happy just the way I am.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

My Life


My life back then only evolves around him. I don't make plans at all. I only know that whatever my future brings, he will be there with me. Then this inevitable happened. Looking back after 5 years without him, who would have thought I will be thinking this way. I am now at the other side that I never knew I would face. I had a dream back then to be with that one person to grow old with. Now, will I take that dream away from that woman as that one person did with me?  I don't think that's fair. I went through hell with that feeling. Why would I let someone feel the same way I did?

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Make Believe



Make believe that this love is for real. I really want to believe that it is real. He let me see only the good side this love can offer. I am not that naive to know that there is that strong possibility that this love will not last as I hope it will. But why do I still trust him when he says "I love you, only you"? I have been making mistakes for about 5 years now. But to make believe that everything is going to be okay is what I am still willing to do. My sister said that if I still want to settle down and get married, find a guy who is single. I just hope that it is that easy to find. Of course I still want a wedding ring on my finger (found out about this dream just a few years back). And I will be very happy if this dream would come true in the near future. Looking back, make believe is one of my constant response when I fall in love. But this is the only time that my lover makes me believe in love without any doubts or confusion that I should be feeling. Make believe that this love is for real. Convince my doubtful mind that there is this guy that wants me to be with him the rest of his life. That all of these feelings are not just make believe.Believe that one day my luv will put a ring on my finger and start my happy ending.