"Just My Thoughts"

I am into my usual depression for the last couple of days.(including today) This is starting to get me worried. I know in my heart that I am a changed woman after my year of transition. But still here I am again for the past days, reminiscing 18 years of my life. It saddens me to think that after a year of getting through everything, my heart and my mind are still struggling between facing the truth and moving on or just get myself blindfolded so not to see what is really happening. (I hope I'm making sense even to myself...) The truth? The truth that I've left my life along with the only man I've loved for more than half my life. I am face with the truth now that I am afraid of starting my life again with a man who loves me dearly. Do I really need this now? Or should I just let it pass and just be alone for whatever years or months I've left? To just be alone for a change? I need to find the answers now for myself. I just hope it'll be sooner. All of these are just my thoughts...( For those who would argue or react with what I've written, Please don't... This is just because I'm depressed and I need to get these things out of my system.)