This one's for you

This one's for you. Flowers, chocolates, or whatever for your anniversary. But what really matter is that you still have each other after all the flaws. Sometimes I feel like people are forgetting the meaning of love or what it really feels. Or people tend to just be contented with what their partners can give.

It sad that saying I love you is just like saying Hi or Hello now a days. Love is not just a word you say. If you say I love you, it means you mean it. If not, just don't bother please. Makes everything complicated. Or you don't really mean it then just let her have the freedom and let her find the true meaning of love.

This one's for you. Give her the love she deserves or give her the freedom to find the love she deserves. It is as easy as that. But if you do love her then show her how your love can make her breathless and contented.

Thinking like a child

A friend told me last night that I am still acting and thinking like a child. That I should change because it's not good for me. This made me think the whole afternoon. Do I need to change? And if I do, will I be happy with the result? 
I told him that I was lucky growing up with people spoiling me by giving me my needs to feel contentment. And now I still get this from every person that I meet. I don't demand them to do it. But they do it anyway. So, is it my fault that I am being pampered this way? 
He promised me that he would be with me all the way. That I could spend my remaining days, months, years with him. Is it wrong that I believe him? And if I am really thinking like a child, will it affect my relationship with him? 
I don't really have the answers to my questions as of now. What i know now is I am happy that I feel this way with someone special. That because of this I am willing to let fate do the job. I do agree that I am still thinking like a child. I am happy just the way I am.

My Life

My life back then only evolves around him. I don't make plans at all. I only know that whatever my future brings, he will be there with me. Then this inevitable happened. Looking back after 5 years without him, who would have thought I will be thinking this way. I am now at the other side that I never knew I would face. I had a dream back then to be with that one person to grow old with. Now, will I take that dream away from that woman as that one person did with me?  I don't think that's fair. I went through hell with that feeling. Why would I let someone feel the same way I did?

Make Believe

Make believe that this love is for real. I really want to believe that it is real. He let me see only the good side this love can offer. I am not that naive to know that there is that strong possibility that this love will not last as I hope it will. But why do I still trust him when he says "I love you, only you"? I have been making mistakes for about 5 years now. But to make believe that everything is going to be okay is what I am still willing to do. My sister said that if I still want to settle down and get married, find a guy who is single. I just hope that it is that easy to find. Of course I still want a wedding ring on my finger (found out about this dream just a few years back). And I will be very happy if this dream would come true in the near future. Looking back, make believe is one of my constant response when I fall in love. But this is the only time that my lover makes me believe in love without any doubts or confusion that I should be feeling. Make believe that this love is for real. Convince my doubtful mind that there is this guy that wants me to be with him the rest of his life. That all of these feelings are not just make believe.Believe that one day my luv will put a ring on my finger and start my happy ending.

Just like this

I want you near me, just like this...
I want you to look at me so tenderly, just like this...
I want you softly kissing me, just like this...
I want you here with your body next to mine, just like this...

I know you can see from the way my eyes glow when our eyes would meet.
Can you even tell that I love you? And I want everything just like this?
Yes, just like this and I will not ask more from you...

It's an Invisible Wall

I've thought about something while listening to a song from Julia Fordham. It's an invisible wall, Julia said. Then I heard my own thoughts saying... People say that it's easy to fall in love. But why is it hard when you're already there? And why is it so impossible for two people in love to have a seamless relationship? So many questions running around my head right now. Still no answers but more questions are popping out endlessly.
Someone close to me said, " Don't be a good girl anymore, we're way passed that for years now". Thinking about it, I know she's right. Deep down I feel tired of being someone who is  just accepting and not asking for more. And I know I deserve more. This in return results to an invisible wall that's building between us. It's slowly tearing us apart.
Another thought... "What if I just simply walk away from you and never turn my back again? Be the bad girl and never explain why and just walk away. It's this invisible wall building up that's making me think this way. If only I could just scream at you and tell you that I want you, I want more of your time, your love, and everything more than you think I need. But can you understand me at all? 

Hearts Never Forget

They say hearts never forget, that whatever it is you're feeling, it all just stays there. Nothing can change when the heart speaks. Sometimes it very frustrating to understand why things so simple may sometimes feels like so complicated. Hahaha, I don't even know if I make sense at all. Some things are just too sensitive to be talked about. And without you knowing it, you can hurt people just by letting them know the truth. So some words are be better left unsaid than causing pain to those people you love. Nights, days, weeks have passed by so quick that you can't even find the time to listen to your own thoughts. And if you will have the chance to do it, words are just not enough to think or even write about it. As my mentor would say, "Just go with the flow...". This is what I am doing right now. And I will just wait what will happen tomorrow. Hearts never forget, but in my heart, I know I will choose the one who will love me more than I can love him.